Is There a Difference Between Love When You're Younger and Love When You're Older?

I asked several single older adults who were in committed relationships with a significant other if there was a difference between their experience now as compared to when they were younger.

As you would expect, they all answered "yes."  I asked them to explain further, and this is what they replied in their own words.

"I appreciate having somebody to be close with, somebody who cares about me and gives me lots of attention and affection.  Because I am older, I feel young again!" 

This 77-year-old woman continued, "When you're younger, love is more exciting and intense.  When you're older, love is calmer and in a way a more different beauty; a lovely relief from the intensity of younger love."

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 An 82-year-old woman says,

             "If you are not living together with your significant other what works so well is that you have independence yet you have this close companionship.  You're not infringing on their personal habits.  At this stage, your children are grown and you have no responsibilities for them.  Hopefully, you're not dependent on someone else for your subsistence.  Even if your health is so-so, you can still be together and compromise on what you can do.  It's a freer sort of thing.  When you're younger, there are too many things that influence.  Parents, building a future.  But at this age you're more open than when you're younger; you're less materialistic, which affects the way you look at love.

            "At this age," she sums up, "I'll take whatever joy comes my way.  Having someone close to you is terrific."

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 An 85-year-old man who is blessed with good health sums it up with "contentedness vs. excitement."  He explains, "When you're younger the hormones that keep the race going are more prominent.  In fact, you're dominated by them, but as you get older, your biology changes and life is not as intense ... you're not pushing all the time, which reflects itself in personal relationships.

 "With men especially, he continues, "you need to prove yourself earlier in life and the need to do that when you're older isn't paramount.  Therefore, you've become a less intense person.  I don't want to rush now," he says.  I want serenity."

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"We don't have time to spare," says an 81-year-old woman, "and so we act on our impulses.  When you're young, you're so busy being young that you just don't get it.  You're too concerned with life and it goes by so fast.  When you're older, you realize the true pleasure of connection and you're really in touch with your feelings.

"To love and be loved is truly what is most important in life ... family, friends, and your soul mate -- if you're lucky -- to share the beauty of love."

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Well, folks, what do you think?  Can we talk?  I'd love to hear your comments.  Please fill out the comment box or email me at 2rdreyer@gmail.com. 

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